I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
So I just went to clothing optional bar
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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