yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
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