That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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