I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
