He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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