im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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