i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
