I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize