please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
