We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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