Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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