dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
