My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
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