what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
