Texts From Last Night

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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.

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  (608): Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting. (608): Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro. http://tfl.nu/1sa0
  Replies (18) Good night (1204) Bad night (2546)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B

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  (305): I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B http://tfl.nu/epjn
  Replies (35) Good night (1118) Bad night (3460)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Fuck 8am classes

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes

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  (330): Fuck 8am classes (330): Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes http://tfl.nu/x2hf
  Replies (15) Good night (4135) Bad night (1586)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.

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  (732): I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome. http://tfl.nu/zzpw
  Replies (25) Good night (6745) Bad night (995)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.

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  (773): I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech. http://tfl.nu/9arc
  Replies (8) Good night (4982) Bad night (1324)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.

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  (303): I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up. http://tfl.nu/b02w
  Replies (10) Good night (1089) Bad night (752)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?

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  (920): Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas? http://tfl.nu/uhrx
  Replies (6) Good night (1119) Bad night (575)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder

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  (706): if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder http://tfl.nu/3zsu
  Replies (1) Good night (470) Bad night (801)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before

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  (248): Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before http://tfl.nu/sx14
  Replies (4) Good night (951) Bad night (491)
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  (818): View more from California

  more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt

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  (818): more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt http://tfl.nu/uly3
  Replies (14) Good night (1790) Bad night (937)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.

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  (931): i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman. http://tfl.nu/vuix
  Replies (11) Good night (1329) Bad night (788)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.

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  (828): Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high. http://tfl.nu/spu2
  Replies (1) Good night (717) Bad night (280)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk

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  (253): Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk http://tfl.nu/8gkz
  Replies (2) Good night (310) Bad night (531)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time

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  (306): I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time http://tfl.nu/lht5
  Replies (2) Good night (663) Bad night (226)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?

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  (403): I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought? http://tfl.nu/gptx
  Replies (1) Good night (366) Bad night (237)

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