i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date