either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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