My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You know, be my cock's hype man.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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