Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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