Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
