My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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