He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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