i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just blew my weed a kiss
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
