i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
