Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize