There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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