he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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