We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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