Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
