I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
