I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
