Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
