We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
