24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
