you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
