I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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