Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
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