So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize