you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
