is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
