I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
