in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
