If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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