I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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