I hate your face
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
