I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
