I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
