did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
