its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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