If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
