What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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