yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
