Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
