please come you make the beer taste better
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
