are you still at the devil's house?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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