I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
