You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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