im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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