I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
