but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.