so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
