if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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