walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
farters have to be the big spoon...
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
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so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
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We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog