Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
