I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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